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Snooki Against Intelligence

Snooki, aka Nicole Polizzi, is perhaps the most annoying dwarf to ever exist; to be so cruelly introduced to my cable channels in the form of Jersey Shore. Watching 5 minutes of that show and hearing her whining is the equivalent of spending 3 hours doing something completely mind-deadening.

I feel Snooki purposely assaults my brain cells with her high-pitched, forever-irritating voice. I'm not sure if she acts that way specifically because she's on reality television or if that's her actual nature but she seriously needs a few hours and lessons on how to be an adult.

I must admit, Snooki's fashion is questionable but her ideas for women's slippers are unique. Unfortunately, Jersey Shore's entire cast is nerve grating so I rarely see it but Snooki is everywhere. How could someone so unintelligent write a book and top the New York's best selling lists? Ladies, it is not an honor to act like Snooki.

I've known many Italians and she gives them all a bad name with her incessant babbling about "guidos" and her lack of fashion sense. It wouldn't be so worrisome to me if she just stayed on reality t.v. but Snooki is the subject of so many magazines and articles now, that it's hard to get away from her image.

I want to write a letter directly to her that says "Dear Snooki, Please get the bump-it out of your hair and act like you've got common sense. Your face is not a canvas for clown designs and the fake tan makes you look like a beta-carotene addict. The people that like you are simply too dumbstruck to change the channel so it's up to you to get off the screen. It would save brain cells and I'd be eternally grateful! Sincerely, Someone who is far more interested in the world than you are."
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