Emo

The Scourge Of Emo Kids

You see them everywhere. The boy with his dyed black hair, straightened over one eye; wearing girl jeans, skinny belts, excessive amount of eye liner, and a constant expression of constipation that they'll try to pass off as depression. The girls are almost the same; except for layers of shirts to hide their self-inflicted scissor scratches and pink or blond stripes through hair that resembles a poofier mullet (cut short and jagged on top with several long strands on the sides and back.) It can be extremely difficult to tell the difference between the sexes when they're in full emo garb.

"Emo" has become a sub-culture of, usually teenagers, who exaggerate their emotions to fit in with a certain scene. Yes, everyone has emotions and it's okay to be emotional; it's also okay to be depressed. What isn't okay are these kids dressing like retarded gothic knock-offs to get attention. It's completely disrespectful of them to confuse their typically rich suburban lifestyles with anything resembling true depression or pain.

Most of the emo kids are so pampered they've got mommy and daddy in their back pockets and when they don't get their way, "it's the most horrible day of my life! I'm going to go sit in a corner with a fresh razorblade and write poems about the suffering camels in Asia, while my eyeliner drips slowly down my cheeks." Oh please. I've been what people would consider a cutter but I definitely never broadcast my problems for the world to see. "Look at my new razorblades! They'll leave an awesome scar and the blood is so pretty." It's a mockery for attention-seeking idiots to cut themselves because that's how the stereotypical emo kid would act. It gives people with real problems a bad name and then society identifies every person with a psychological disorder as "emo."

Emo kids rove in packs; all staring at the ground in hopes of reconnecting with the fragments of their broken souls, or grinding against each other in public to prove their lives are so bad that they must seek comfort in self-assuring second base. "Let's have sex and cry." There are also those who act like rabid baboons in department stores; cutting up with their friends and glaring at other customers from underneath raccoon eyes and ragged bangs. It may be a stereotype and it may be completely wrong of me to dismantle these teenagers but if they didn't strive to be morons, then they wouldn't be treated like morons.

Emo Kids Of The World: Go write another suicide note and get on with your lives. Nothing is as bad as you make it out to be and you should have less of a burning desire to cry about morbidity and more of a passion to do something meaningful with your lives. The world doesn't need to know just how damn sad and hopeless you really are; and PLEASE stop pretending you're promiscuous. You may make out with everything but you wouldn't know the meaning of the word "slut" if it jumped up and bit you on your teary-eyed ass.

And To My Devoted Fans: How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None! They're too busy crying in the dark!